Beloveds, tonight my heart is broken for those who have been the victim of sexual violations. Since my walk this morning, I have been praying for those affected by this...godless act of theft and cruelty. I have prayed for those who are so tired of hurting from the effects that they are considering death, not because they want to die but because it is too painful to live like this. And I am so sorry. SO sorry it hurts like that. I'm sorry you suffer from nightmares and memories and the ongoing torture of self-loathing, feeling unprotected, fear of it happening again, the further violation of not being believed, the fear of telling anyone at all. I'm so sorry, and if I could tell you anything right now, I would beg you to not give up. I would BEG you, with the tears that are in my eyes right, to not give up.
You are worth fighting for.
You are not invisible.
You are not alone.
And I would tell you--
It is not you fault.
You didn't cause this.
You don't deserve this.
This is not about you, who you are, or what you did. This is all about the person--or persons--who did this to you.
Don't let someone else' horrible character and shameful actions determine how you see yourself.
God made you as a gift to you, for you to open a little bit at a time as you grow and mature and become. Please, please don't let some heinous person steal that gift forever. I know it may take time and help to believe you are a gift, to believe you are beautiful or handsome, to believe you are perfectly made. It may take help and time to learn the truth--that you are amazing in wondrous ways that do not cause you pain. Beloved, YOU are NOT the one who caused you pain.
There is so much I want to tell you. So much I want you to be able to know. But right now, please know you are not alone. You do not have to hide anymore. You do not have to lie. You do not have to stay silent.
You are precious. You are...you were made to love yourself as God made you and ot enjoy yourself and to feel safe in yourself. This thing that happened to you is not God's will, and His heart is broken for you. He is not ashamed of you or disgusted by you. He is reaching out to you. His heart is to restore you.
Please, don't give up. Please. Don't. Give. Up.
My heart and prayers are with you, beloveds.
With all my love and support...
Jerri
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